Shortly after I staggered back home after a stumbling shuffle a few weeks ago, my Garmin gizmo had this to tell me: “Your VO₂ Max is 49 which is superior for men ages 70-79. Your fitness age is that of an excellent 20 year old. That’s the top 5% for your age and gender.”

This is a lot like being told by your old auntie that you are such a handsome boy. You appreciate the thought even though you know it’s not true. I have a vague memory of what it feels like to be a fit 20-year-old, and—believe me—this ain’t it.

Chuffed all the same, of course.